Monday, March 10, 2014

two in a room.

After finding out we were pregnant, we quickly landed on the decision to let our daughters share a room from the start. We have an extra room in this house that is currently serving as a catch-all storage space and is going unused at this point, but we won't be cleaning it out to create a second nursery.

We were really surprised to find that a shared nursery by choice, not necessity, was met with a lot of questions. Don't get me wrong, many who have asked about our plans were supportive but some were confused or concerned by our choice. I thought I'd share some of the questions we have been asked and the reasons for our choice for the curious or for parents who are on the fence about their sleeping arrangements.

So why put two in a room if we don't have to?

To encourage closeness. I anticipate that our girls will have a strong bond, mainly because they will be close in age. We look forward to our daughters being each others' best friends from the very start. Why not encourage this by keeping them close?

It's practical.  This choice makes sense for us for many reasons. First, we hope to have more children and don't plan on moving out of our modestly sized home anytime soon. Why not teach our children to share space from the get go? Additionally, keeping toys and cloth diapers and baby clothes condensed to one room will help us keep up with the clutter and mess.

Won't Clementine's sleep be interrupted during the new baby's wakeful months?

We co-slept with Clementine for most of the first year and we plan to do the same with this baby, so this is not a concern for us. Night feedings will be a regular part of our lives and it only makes sense to keep Hazel close while she is still eating at night.

Don't you want your girls to have their own space and privacy?

Quite frankly--No. We believe that the concepts of having "our own space" and "privacy" are very American (for lack of a better word) and that they are rooted in entitlement. We believe that our value for community should start in our home. We hope to model for our children that closeness is good. Sharing belongings and space is enjoyable because the things we have are gifts and far less valuable than the relationships we have with one another.

I am sure we have plenty of growing pains and learning ahead of us, but I look forward to figuring out this aspect of being a growing family and sharing it with y'all as we go. I would love hear about your experience with shared nurseries. How do you keep organized? How do you orchestrate bedtime? How to keep up with the chaos of toys and clothes? Leave me some tips in the comments below.

Love,
Mary

3 comments:

  1. Love this! You all are making a great choice. Our girls LOVE sharing a room and I wish we would have moved them together, sooner!

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  2. I am right there with you! Although this is our first - we just purchased our home not long ago and are making the other room a guest bedroom. Lots of family and friends have already asked why we're putting effort into making it a guest room if we're planning to have more kids. I am right there with all of your answers - especially the last one! Eliminate the sense of "mine" and the entitlement American's feel they need/deserve -- we're born into this sin and I'm all for creating spaces/environments to encouraging sharing and good stewardship!

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  3. I couldn't agree more! I always respond with the "American" thing when people ask about my kids sharing. Love your blog!

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