Monday, January 27, 2014

Truth for the hard days.

There is something crusty on my t-shirt. I am fairly certain it is the product of the cold Clem has been fighting (again!) this weekend. She's sleeping now, she fell asleep at 10am with her head hanging off of the couch. This is not our ideal nap time scenario. After wielding a bulb syringe, Kleenex, and chest rub at 10pm, midnight, 2am, and 3:30am--I take what I can get.

Weekends like these make me an unpredictable basket case of emotions. Two twelve hour shifts later (with very little sleep in between) I found myself in tears after snapping at Chris in the middle of the night last night. I can only speak of my experience, but during the particularly trying days of motherhood I find myself whispering the same condemning words in frustration. Failure. Impatient. Falling short. 

Those are hard accusations to fight on a normal day. Throw in a handful of days of three or four hours of interrupted sleep? I fold.

But here's the deal: weekends like these also bring on this forced sense of clarity. There is nothing like an hour spent in a rocking chair during the darkest hours of the night the force me back to the basics. These are the days I finally throw lofty expectations of an immaculate house, crafternoons, new recipes every night, and pinterest perfect make-up and hair out the window. These are fine things, but they do not have the right to be a source of guilt, especially on the hard days. Most importantly, these are not the things that define my role as a mother.

So, today, I am replacing the whispers with the simplest reminders of truth. A mother is someone who meets physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. These are the basics of my calling and everything else is just added fluff. I refuse to feel guilt for the to do list left undone as I kiss on Clementine while she cries because she can't breathe through her nose or say quiet little prayers for her health and her heart while she snores on my chest. 

If you are drowning in expectations today, join me in a reminder of the basics of what we are called to do. Give yourself grace--throw everything else to the side and just focus on the heart and health of your family.

Love,
Mary


4 comments:

  1. This is beautiful and sad and everything in between. You are a woman deserving of admiration, and I mean that sincerely. I often refer to you when I think of what a supermom might be:)

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  2. Yes, yes, yes. Thank you for sharing your heart!

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  3. I too refer to you when I think of a super mom. You're awesome.

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  4. This is so beautiful and truth-filled. Thanks for taking time to write this. It's remarkable.

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